Get your waders folks and prepare to journey through recent cinema’s slimy underbelly, where you might find a hidden gem or just some plain auld shlime! Either way there is plenty of sub-normal joy to be gleaned from these auxiliary releases of the last five years.
Our first entry may not have flown under the radar for horror aficionados or Kevin Smith fans but I imagine the wider, respectable, community might have given this one a miss, especially with a RottenTomatoes score of 39%. But despite it’s poor critical reception the film does have some very redeeming elements, such as a walrusised(verb past tense: to turn into a walrus by way of mutilation) protagonist and some pretty solid performances from Justin Long, Michael Parks and Johnny Depp. It also features a grown up Haley Joel Osment (The Sixth Sense kid), who has graduated from seeing dead people to seeing his mate’s missus.
Okay, so Citizen Kane it ain’t. But I’ve seen Citizen Kane and not once in two hours does any fucker get turned into a walrus. Point being the low RT score probably says more about the anal and staid nature of film critics. Tusk doesn’t take itself seriously, which just leaves room for some good old fashioned enjoyment, without the need to stoically discuss the cinematography, characterization or tone afterwards.
Ben Wheatley isn’t known for output that appeals to decent sensibilities, but Kill List takes the biscuit. It is only truly comparable to the excretion of the constipated: while it’s happening you want it to end but once it finishes you wish there was more. I am aware that this doesn’t sound too appealing but this is simply because it isn’t. Kill List is not so much enjoyed but rather experienced.
This being said it has pretty much everything any self respecting sadist or masochist would want: an unrelenting sense of doom, terror, sheer discomfort for the viewer, terror, all of the -icides and terror. David Lynch fans will devour this film like a delicious cake. However, for those who have not found the similarities between Mr. Kipling and the stuff of nightmares Kill List may be hard to swallow.
You’ve read the title so you probably have some questions, so take a read of this FAQ, and if you still have questions……..no one cares…….
Is it 80s? Yes
Does it look like a really long Tekken cut scene? mmh-hmm
Will there be dinosaur cops? Of course
Is it long? Nope: 30mins
Time Travel? Makes Marty McFly look like a bitch
Scantily clad, machine gun wielding Viking wenches? Ohhhh Yes
Will there be full frontal nudity? Sadly not
So no nudity of any kind? ………………
Kung Fu Hitler? LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!!!