In 2005, after finishing the Lord Of The Rings trilogy by J. R R Tolkien, which depicted Tolkien’s tumultuous journey of dropping a DVD back late to Xtra-Vision, Peter Jackson remade his favorite childhood film; King Kong. The original was made back in 1933 by colorblind duo Mervin C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack. It was one of the most groundbreaking films at the time and left audiences in both awe and terror.
It’s a typical gorilla meets girl, gorilla likes girl, gorilla dies whilst saving girl, then girl instantly moves on and shags someone else. In Jackson’s movie Ann Darrow is played by Naomi Watts whilst King Kong is played by a 50ft African gorilla called Fred. Jack Black, Adrian Brody and a bunch of other insignificant’s make up the rest of the cast who essentially slow everything down leaving the running time go on for about the duration of Lent. Jack Black’s character Carl Denham will stop at nothing to make a name for himself in Hollywood. So, he takes a film crew, along with a group drink sodden sailors and a beautiful failed actress, to the mysterious Skull Island to make one of the most ambitious and exotic snuff films in the history of American cinema.
On arrival the crew discover the island is inhabited by a tribe of cannibals, the odd dinosaur, and the son of Tom Hanks. As they try to escape these eclectic bunch of characters, Naomi Watts, the only woman on the boat, goes and gets herself kidnapped……..twice. First by the cannibalistic tribe of bongo boys and then, astoundingly but not unsurprisingly, by a 50ft fucking gorilla.
After a fight with three T-Rex’s, Ann realizes that King Kong doesn’t want to hurt her and has developed a strange connection towards her. She entertains him with dance routines and juggling acts. He laughs. Ha ha. They watch the sunset together and everything is going grand until Jack Black and his team of tenacious dorks come steaming in with spears and chloroform, capturing poor Kong in order to put him on show in New York, leaving Ann inconsolable. Once he escapes they are reunited and share one last utterly ridiculous moment on an ice ring before the army come to send love back to hell in a handbasket.
The central theme of the film is the relationship between King Kong and Ann Darrow which is genuinely very touching and heartfelt. One can’t help but wonder that if the army laid down their guns and accepted King Kong into society we, as an audience, would be allowed to see Kong and Ann’s relationship develop to the next level. Unfortunately for Kong he would have to get a job which in these recessionary times would be quite difficult. Especially with housing prices soaring and the price of petrol always going up the stress for Kong might be too much. Given his size, himself and Ann would find it hard to find any alone time and the dynamics of sexual intercourse would be like trying to squeeze a wide length of wavin pipe through an acute keyhole.
Anyway, they chase him to the Empire State building where he becomes cornered on the roof. After been warned several times to ‘ come down off that fuckin’ building and stop making a gombeen out of yourself’, the army plow a hape of bullets into him. Sadly, making him fall to his death. The movie concludes with the famous line; ‘It was Beauty that killed the beast’, well that and falling 102 story’s from a city skyscraper and being hit more times than Phil Taylor’s dartboard. Poor chap never had a chance.