Alright lads, it’s February Album-Writing Month, which is apparently a noun I have to capitalise because someone made it a thing. This means there are going to be literally thousands of submissions on FAWM.ORG from studio-dads, shitty bedroom producers and that one dude from your hometown who’s one shitty band away from giving up and getting into EDM – calling it “growth”.
BUT we don’t care about those. We care about the weirdos. Here are some weirdos:
Ten seconds in I had an insatiable urge to have hot, steamy, German, robot-sex in a derelict carnival. Who am I kidding, I always have that urge:
Patrick – The Insurance Salesman
At least he sounds like an insurance salesman. I don’t mean to be racist, there are plenty accountants who also sound like that. Boring, well-paid professions are a race right?
Your Over-Familiar Uncle
I’ve suspected for a while now that most submissions have been recorded with headphones – by that I mean they plugged their headphones into the mic jack and sang, or in a few cases played instruments into them. I’m not suspicious of this one though – he’s definitely singing into the headphones he’s giving to his niece before hugging her for a fraction too long.
The description reads: “As you know, the first of February is a national holiday in Finland called Munkko possu päivä. It means that one should eat a munkko possu, which is a donut in the shape of a pig.”
That’s amazing! Who knew? I mean I looked it up and they look nothing like pigs but still no wonder their crime rate is so low:
I was not expecting this. If you spend enough time on the site your standards get so low that when something like this comes along it’s like your first hot shower after 6 years of fighting zombies and jerking off with gross zombi-e-coli fingers. This is great even if it sounds a bit like the closing song in Bear in the Big Blue House. Thank you random talented black man.